Many fathers and mothers who complain that their child is very difficult to always round a charged emotion vent anger inappropriately. With tantrums, profanity or subtle acts of disobedience.
We must be clear that no child is like another, and that none of us can not know what kind of needs can have these creatures just bring the world and for which we wish all the best. Difficult children often turn often generate a level of very high stress on parents, bordering in some cases helplessness. It is not a simple issue to address, and in fact, we do not always worth the books, not even the experience we have with our children or other recommendations from some parents.
Difficult children and excitement contained
Take an example. Think of the child who has had a bad day at school, comes home and when their parents ask him what happened, he responds badly. Given this, the parents decide to punish him in his room all afternoon. What have we gained by this? Have we solved the problem? Absolutely.
If the child puts us hard walls, do not raise new citadels around, not aisles, not neglect, do not leave it alone. We are all clear that the process to reach them is complex, however, you must take into account these previous aspects:
A difficult child is not always the result of bad parenting. You should not blame anyone.
There are children with high demands calling for much more than the rest, it is his personality, his way of being and it does not mean that we, as parents, have done something wrong.
A child receives demand and not what you want or who can not express it, just frustrated. There are many times that they are overburdened by a myriad of emotions that rage that oscillates with sadness, others with disgust, sometimes with anger.
Difficult children require a higher level of care, understanding, support and even creativity on the part of parents.
We must be architects of their worlds, a safe worlds where they feel comfortable to express the emotion contained that allows them to know, let off steam, feel free and safe to advance through each of the scenarios that define the child throughout their life cycle .
As difficult child help channel their emotions
We know that the child difficult to demand our attention above all and each of the strategies that we can give creatively to meet their needs. To help you manage all this emotional world that sometimes overflows and blocks.
Notes what steps we should take to educate children in this difficult field, in that dimension where channel, where shape and express the emotion contained.
If the power of positive reinforcement
If a difficult child will recriminamos your mistakes, if you underestimate, or rebuke him for his reactions, generate even more anger and anxiety. Always remember that such children, in the background, are very fragile and have low self-esteem.
Use as simple utterances like "I trust you", "I know you can with this," "I know you're special," "I know you're a brave boy and so I love you" ...
A positive word generates a positive emotion, positive emotion builds confidence.
Yes to communication that does not judge, do not compare or sentence
There are parents who make the mistake of comparing the difficult child with siblings, or other children. It is not right. As it is a mistake to initiate a dialogue that already involves certain judgments, "as you're lazy, you never listen, you will always misbehave ..." Avoid this type of communication and always follow these guidelines:
No sondees not interrogate. Discover what is the time when the child feels more comfortable to talk.
Dale trust, closeness and understanding. Take good care of your voice tone, it is basic to connect with children.
Communication should be daily and continuous.
You never laugh or ironices what you tell your children. For them it is important, and if they find that lack of empathy from you avoid personal with you.
Yes to produce an internal balance in the childShow him that every emotion can be transformed in a word, that anger has form, that sadness can share to alleviate that mourn is not bad and that you will always be there to listen.
Teach him to breathe, to relax, to channel their emotions through certain activities that blow off steam and distracted.
Teach him to accept frustration that the world may not always be as they want.
Teach them to listen and to speak assertively. Tell them that their voice will always be heard, that everything you say is important to you.
Teach them to take responsibility, to fend for themselves at every step and decision they give.
The blocked emotion is a thorn surrounded by a stone wall. If we raise more walls spinal it is even more hidden, so, the first step will be removing each stone that wall through communication and affection.
Emotion is the source of human energy, is the key that must guide children, first to understand themselves, and then, to understand the world.