Who has not felt a tickle in the tummy the day he was to introduce the groom to their parents? Who is not filled with recommendations to his partner the first time I joined out of Saturday with her friends and boyfriends? Years pass and yet show our affections the person we've chosen to share life remains a source of stress. We accept it, they like to adopt it. Now what happens when, over the person you have to cross with our new boyfriend is a child?
Gabriela W. was separated for three long years. Her children were accustomed to this new reality, one might even say that they enjoyed having two houses where they did the impossible to "not suffer the divorce of their parents." So far, a great or at least well-off.
But one day, Gabriela began dating a man, and after five months of being in secret, decided to whitewash the situation with his family. Although he needed time to discuss how to raise it, it was not because her new boyfriend wanted to take that weekend to the beach. Just counted, then, with four days to talk to their kids and her ex, who should be in charge while she was leaving "mini honeymoon".
In desperation, convoked a summit of friends to help her think about how best to raise her new emotional state. Here are some of the advice he received:
- Be sure the relationship you are living is important enough to become public. It is best not to subject the children to the vagaries of love from adults.
- It is your ex finds out for you in your new relationship, and they are not kids who will go with the gossip. It is best to drink coffee and talk alone what he has to talk. Even the way when you're organized.
- At no time your kids have to believe they're asking permission to rebuild your life. You're just sharing the joy of starting over.
- Call to relations with the name that you have. No more "Mommy has a friend." If you're a bride, you have to encourage you to call it that.
- Do not force the relationship of this new person with the rest of your family. The ideal is to be aware of and little neutral ground: the farther from home, the better.
- Be cautious with demonstrations of affection with your new boyfriend. And he is also measured at their shows with your children. Everything has its time.
What other elements must be considered when formalizing a relationship when we have children?
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